This blog keeps evolving in good or bad ways. It started with my Coleman lantern collecting obsession (The Lantern). Then it slipped into Kansas camping (Of Oz). I didn’t realize “Oz” referred to Australia, so I regret the name of my blog because I doubt folks are picking up on my Kansas-Dorothy-Wizard connection. I digress. I like to write about my camping trips, my fishing adventures, and sometimes my absolute nasty depressed mind and things there within. I have a very negative mindset about Life and I try to not let that out. Camping culture and dirtbag lifestyle make me happy. I love the bandanna republic. Lastly, I rarely read comments unless they are from people I know, I’m sorry it’s just the way I am. Thanks for reading, I hope I post things that people “get” or appreciate
Charles Latrans is a OCD drunkard. He likes to have a matching glass with his beer. Well, so many years ago he settled on Busch beer as his joy. Bought the glass. This morning, strangely, Charles had a thought — what if this glass broke. They all do eventually, but this one has lasted years.
What a premonition. It broke. It broke, because things break. But Latrans knows it broke because he thought about it.
Latrans is dying. He is working harder, longer, for less. He’s thankful to be an American, glad to be here. But he’s a slave and it’s eating away his life. Is 60 hours of pain worth 24 hours of ….
Don’t know. Charles never does it right. He’s more of an Edward Abbey type — the worse father figure. Just gets away to camp.
Charles will look on the internet for a new glass, a new $4 soul.
Kansas, My Kansas. I love you so. Prevailing southerly winds. Blue skies. Rolling hills. Post oak savanna. Prairie grass. Coyotes. Gravel roads. Black cattle. Sandstone. Limestone. Olive-colored lakes. I fucking love you. Pakku got a good taste of Kansas yesterday. I almost — almost took her on an actual trail, but I chickened out. I have a very low amount of trail confidence, in fact I have none. She will teach me slowly, we’ll get there one day.
My Detroit Tigers lid came with me, as well as the current book I’m reading about Ty Cobb — the fucking best baseball player in the history of the game and I’ll argue that forever. What a man. I’m reading the book because apparently he is known worldwide as a fucking asshole racist, a real bad dude. Only 4 people from baseball went to his funeral, if that gives you an idea of how disliked he was. BUT — this book refutes these things … Ty Cobb was not all of those bad things. Anyway. Great reading so far. Back to camping …
Those prevailing southerlies did come, but overall it was a gorgeous weekend full of blue skies and sunny warmth. My arms were soaked in the holy Hawaiian Tropic SPF 30 sunscreen. The aroma of coconut, frozen shrimp (bait), and Deep Woods Off mesmerized me. Lunch time came and I decided to eat cheap — bean quesadillas and cilantro-lime rice from the package.
Refried beans and cheddar-jack cheese. I brought diced jalapeños but did not add those, sadly. The meal was okay but very uninspiring. I’ll try better next time. After I cleaned up camp, I took Pakku to a special place …
It’s a river crossing with a history I have not researched yet, but it is a good 20 mile trek down gravel roads out in the proverbial Middle Of Nowhere. The river is clean and beautiful, with its limestone bed.
I tried to get as dirty as possible. Baptized by Kansas. Later in the afternoon I took a shower at the bathhouse, still one of the best things ever.
I had to camp at my old campsite where I’d camped 32 times before. I didn’t really plan on it, but I pulled in Saturday morning and found my first two choices occupied. It always freaks me out when that happens but Plan C worked fine, it was nice to be back at the ol’ home.
I have 3 more trips planned before we go to Colorado for my 100th trip. I could probably sneak in an extra trip before then but I want Colorado to be 100.
The only down side to the weekend is Pakkuraba’s gas mileage. She barely got 17 mpg on the way to the lake, and only 15.7 mpg on the way home. Yikes! I’m guessing with three kids, a 70-pound dog, and my beautiful wife and even more camping gear, our Colorado trip will be insanely horrible — 12.5, 13 mpg? I better start saving money now LOL.
Arlo still waiting for his first Campout this year …. Maybe next time, buddy.
For just around $40 you can get the TOBTOS sleep pad on Amazon. It inflates to an incredible 6 inches (that’s what she said) so let’s talk about it.
To inflate it, you simply open the nozzle on the foot pad, while making sure the nozzle on the other end is closed. Then you step on the pad, which pushes air into the pad. It took me exactly 64 steps to get it fully inflated, and while I think it was slightly annoying, it’s way better that blowing air into it with your mouth. It can also be inflated with an air pump but that’s cheating, right? Here’s the final product:
They weren’t lying — it’s 6 inches thick. One end has a built-in “pillow” which is nice. It stayed aired up all night, and it was comfortable. The material feels really cheap, I have to admit. I’m not sure how many nights this will last before getting a hole poked in it, but I’m sure it’s worth the price paid. Also, deflating it and rolling it up into its stuff sack is really easy. I’ll give this 4.5 stars out of 5, I just worry about the thin material is all. Once again I am proving that you don’t need to spend $200 on those ridiculous sleep pads made by the good camping companies. In a pinch, you can sleep comfortably for under $40.
Any time I cancel a camping trip the last minute, it always feels weird. But as it is, the forecast called for 30 mph winds, gusts up to 50 mph, then possible severe weather in late evening. There’s just no point. I finally called it.
The Pakkuraba, however, licked up the scraps and got dressed with a proper saddle. The Gobi roof rack from Denver, Colorado has been sitting in the garage for a few weeks awaiting appointment. I started at 8 a.m. with good coffee and finished at 7:00 p.m. with beer. Not bad for a 2-hour task.
The big concern was the garage. Would it fit? Because that’s why I sold my old Thule rack, it was too tall. Thank Christ it fit, by 4-5 inches. Because when you order a 70-pound rack that’s delivered on a pallet from a freight company, you can’t just send it back.
The instructions by Gobi were nothing less than amazing, except for the ladder install, but no worries. We figured it. The icing on the cake is the Gobi backpack. It’s an option on the order, so for $50 I was like yeah. Turns out it’s probably a $100 backpack, high quality —
I’ve seen shitty backpacks at Target that cost more — this thing is fucking awesome. I’ll use it on camping trips, another pakkuraba pocket.
Maybe next weekend I’ll get away from my slime city. Jerk city. People city.
My new religion, my new sin, is nearing its completion. And let me re-iterate this first — I feel disgusting posting things like this. I am not a materialistic guy, I hate showing things off. I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy who keeps the same t-shirts for decades. I do, however, love camping gear, I’ll show that stuff off because it’s generally affordable. Posting things about vehicles feels different. But I’m only doing this in the name of Camping.
My wife told me once that I need to stop compromising, if you want something then go for it and get what you really want. A few months ago on a camping trip I read this billboard at a small town community center that read: “I’m stuck between save for the future and you only live once.” And that, that sums up a lot of my thinking. However, I’ve decided to throw all of my cards on the table. I might die tomorrow. My plan for my Nihon no Pakkuraba (Japanese pack mule) was to slowly add mods over a 3-4 year period. Responsibly pay off each addition before adding the next. Nope. Fuck it, scorched earth policy is in effect.
Anyway, her new Easter shoes are BF Goodrich KO2. The important thing was the TRD black wheels. These should be mandatory stock, but Toyota wouldn’t make money on that. It sucks to replace brand new tires and wheels after only 6K miles, but by God the difference is profound. But now, finally, I can go to the real backwoods, I can finally drive up to Mirror Lake without worrying about ripping off a gas tank or getting a tire puncture. And now I can explore, and go “overlanding” in earnest. And for this, I must ask my God to forgive me for my sins of my Japanese pack mule worship.
The Gobi roof rack is in the garage awaiting install, which I will have to do myself in a few weeks. I would like to add a few more things, but am in no hurry — an awning, some outside Molle panels with gas/water carriers, and maybe some smoked out tail lights. Maybe, just maybe a leveling kit — but for now she is done.
I’ve never had a bucket list, because in a sad, weird way, I think bucket lists are depressing. I love the idea, but it seems like most bucket lists are things people will never achieve but dream of, of course. Hey, dreaming is free, after all. But I’m more of a literal guy, I need attainable goals. Over the last 3 years, a bucket list has been created in my life, and it has one item on it, and only one. Well, maybe two. But target #1 is visiting the Battle of the Little Bighorn National Monument in Montana. I have been meticulously reading about this subject for 2-3 years now, and I’ve reached the too-late-to-turn-back moment now. I need to see where Custer breathed his last breath, where the Sioux wiped out the 7th Cavalry. Where, where … once upon a time, life was untamed and natural. Cowboys and Indians and cavalry. This is the culture I am in love with. The 19th Century. Fuck technology.
So this summer, God willing, I’m planning on taking my wife and dog on the 15-hour roadie to the Crow Reservation in southwestern Montana to visit the sacred battlefield. We will camp along the way at a white sand beach lake in Nebraska — surreal. We might camp in the Big Horn mountains in Wyoming. I still need to do logistics. It’ll be a “quick” 4-day trip, the only cost will be fuel and food, so this won’t be too costly ($3.19 per gallon for 1,000 miles, fuck my life). LOL
Life is moving too fast. 60-hour workweeks are normal now. The camping rabbit hole goes deeper and deeper through my soul. The bucket list might grow. My wife and I want to move to Texas. But like I said, these bucket list items seem too hard to reach sometimes. One day at a time.
I’m a REI Co-op member, and I get rewards or discounts from time to time. If you have an REI near you, please sign up for $10, it’s the best thing you’ll ever do. In fact I think when you sign up you get a $10 coupon immediately, so it’s free. Anyway, sometimes I check out their app, and last week I stumbled upon a Mountsinsmith Lichen 2-P tent for $80, marked down from $219. For $80, I absolutely had to have it. I liked the vestibule it has, but I’ll talk about that in a bit. It packs up fairly small, standing on end it doesn’t even reach my knee. I’m not tall either.
Right off the bat, you can see it comes with very sturdy, high-quality stakes. I prefer these shepherd’s hook style, as opposed to any other kind. The tent does come with a ground mat. I do need to mention that they don’t provide enough stakes — if you want the two guy lines to be staked, you’ll need to bring a few extra.
Putting the rain fly on is easy enough, but you should secure it with the Velcro points before putting the rest of it in place, will make it easier later.
As a 2-Person tent, it’s basically a 1-Person tent, but that’s always the case with tents. Always subtract one from the size stated. Now let’s talk about the vestibule.
The photo online makes this vestibule look huge, but it’s not. That’s my full-sized camp chair there, and clearly I get no protection, but as far as storing gear and such, the vestibule area is great. Backpacks and other things will easily fit.
My two cents worth: This is a pretty well-made tent. It took me 23 minutes to pitch it, which is me doing it for the first time and not reading directions (I never do anyway). I’m sure next time I can cut a lot of time off. There are a lot of stake points, it should be stable in wind, it was for me and I live in Kansas, which is basically a wind tunnel.
Personally, I felt like it was kinda cramped, but I’m the weirdo who likes to sleep in 4-Person tents when I’m solo. I love space. I don’t like the tunnel-style tent that starts high and descends. But I’m just not used to that style.
I like this tent, I will be using it again. It’s just not a this-is-the-one tent. Getting this thing for $80 felt like a gift from the camping gods, for sure. Mountainsmith is a company from Colorado, yet the tent is made in China. That kinda disturbs me. Last but not least, I folded up this tent and packed it into its stuff sack at the campsite on a breezy morning. I felt pretty great about that. Some tents are way more difficult.
The Cheap Sleeping Pad Experiment continues. The rule is: try a new sleeping pad each camping trip, the pad needs to cost under $50 to qualify as “cheap.” This is my third one, and it’s the ZOOOBELIVES brand, purchased on Amazon. I believe it cost close to $40 but right now it’s even cheaper — $29.
Let me be very clear here — this thing is huge. It packs up the same size as a lot of tents do. I mean, Jesus. But I don’t care, when I go solo camping I’m not looking to save space. I bought this because it claims to be super thick — 4 inches. That’s enormous, most pads are half of that thickness at best.
There are two valves. The main one shown in the second photo, and then this valve for the built-in foot pump. Let me give you some expert advice: the foot pump is a joke. It does work, I think, but it takes an extremely long time. In fact I gave up after a few minutes because I felt like it was it really getting there. So I used the main nozzle and aired it up in 30 seconds with my GIGA Pump.
Final opinion? This thing is fucking awesome. It’s as thick as advertised, it kept air all night long, and I damn near thought I was sleeping on a bed. I can’t testify to the warmth, it got down to 50 degrees at night but I was snug as a bug with my usual assortment of blankets. I always put a blanket under my air pads and one on top so I’m not sleeping directly on the cold synthetic material. I honestly don’t want to try another pad after this one, I love it, but I also can’t wait to keep trying more. Again — do not buy this if you are a hiker, it’s simply enormous and heavy. Car camping, absolutely.
The 8th Camping Merit Badge has been earned, and the badge beautifully illustrates the sad inner-most workings of my brain. As a general rule, I am a nice person and I don’t believe in “burning bridges” because you know, that shit will come back to haunt you. You never know. Having said that, I LOVE burning bridges when people do me wrong. I have had a couple of friends in my lifetime who I’ve burned the proverbial bridge with, and my way of lighting those bridges on fire was by disappearing from their lives by changing addresses, phone numbers, etc. Lessons in How To Disappear Completely. Then last week I broke up with my local Mazda dealership where I’d been servicing my Mazda over the last 18 years. They kept taking advantage of me so finally I filled out their damn survey that that persisted I take, and well, I burned that motherfucker to the ground. Needless to say, I’ll never be returning there as long as God gives me breathes to breathe. Anyway — I love my new angry, bitter patch for the Japanese pakkuraba.
This camping trip has three talking points, two of which will be gear reviews in two other posts. So that leaves me with the main topic, and I’m going to get straight to the point: a fish — or lake monster? — dragged one of my rods and reels into the lake and disappeared into the murky depths. I’m not making this up.
Sometime around 2:00 p.m. I was cooking up a couple of big cheeseburgers on my camp stove. After I ate and cleaned up some dishes, I walked down to the shore to find this:
My second rod and reel was about 5 yards away, perfectly erect. Nobody could have stolen it, because I was the only one at the lake — and who in the hell is stealing a cheap rod and reel that’s got a line in the water. Here’s what scares me …. Earlier I caught a 7.47 pound catfish, and although it did knock the rod down from the holder (the shore is rocky and the holders are not firmly in the ground) the rod just sat there and didn’t budge. So if a 7 pound cat can’t move a rod, what in the fuck could drag a rod into the lake, over rocky ground, mind you ….? I don’t know, and it’s going to haunt me forever. It didn’t dawn on me to wade into the lake a few yards and at least see if the rod was hung up on the bottom. I brought extra shoes and I always have 2-3 days of extra clothing, so I could have done that. Honestly, next time I go there I’m going to do just that. Except now I don’t know exactly where I had the rod, maybe I can figure it out from the photo when I get there. The fishing gods must be angry with me, I don’t know. I once had a rod dragged into a pond by a large carp, but the rod was a lot lighter and it was sitting on a grassy bank. This is different. Anyway, here’s proof of said 7.47:
My wife says I look like I’m in Alaska. Nope, just some classic, blustery Kansas springtime weather. I love it.
Overall, a pretty interesting weekend, and the first trip using my molle panel system in the 4R. I don’t really have it figured out yet — it’s one of those things that have no right or wrong way, it’s totally up to the user.
I did add this amazing paper towel holder that I bought on Etsy. It’s pretty great, but I didn’t spend $$$ on these panels for a freaking paper towel system. The molle bags are useful for small things like sleep pad air pumps, Solar lights, chargers, etc.
My top shelf is still not figured. I mean half of the shelf is used for a pillow? That’s dumb. I put a pot set up there that I didn’t even end up using. This will take some time to figure out. I want a defined system and packing pattern — I’m OCD like crazy, and I need my packing system to be sharp and exact.
This concludes the broadcast. I guess next weekend I get the pleasure of buying a new fishing rod and reel. Thanks, fishing gods. That poor thing that dragged it into the lake is the one suffering now. I hope we meet someday soon.
The sickness moves on. Her insides are now complete: interior molle panels with top shelf, from Cali Raised. The photos do no justice. The photos make it look as if I’m turning the 4Runner into a prison transport van.
I’ll figure it out. These photos are pointless without camping gear. I literally don’t know how to use this new cage, military-style system. I will get there. Her insides are done, I truly believe. Only patches are left for her, there.
Leveling kit, tires, wheels, roof rack. Then we’ll be done. Then, then …. I can live in this shithole with no place to go.
Last Friday night, I spent 3 hours of mechanical seduction under the body of my mistress — my Toyota 4Runner. My wife knows about it, don’t worry. I installed Cali Raised catalytic converter covers. Now, I’m about as mechanically skilled as a sloth, but I got it done. Why did I install catalytic converter covers? Because of fear and paranoia — apparently thieves are stealing catalytic converters and selling them for money, and the Toyotas (and most other SUVs/trucks) are easy targets as they sit higher and give these assholes easier access under the vehicle. They can cut them off and steal them in minutes. Replacing them is a $2,000 repair. Of course this is fear-based, and I bought into it. The good news is the payoff is that I never have to worry about this happening now. First mod done. On Saturday morning, I woke up and installed these:
RSG rock sliders. It took exactly 4 weeks for these to arrive from RSG Metalworks in Golden, Colorado. They weigh about 50 pounds each, powder coated steel. Bolt on to the frame. Saturday morning, I did this in the beautiful Kansas sunshine, and it was so much easier than the cat shield install. It was actually enjoyable.
I won’t bore you with the install details. I will say that I prepped the frame with rust protection, and I used a couple of cheap car jack I bought at Wal Mart ($35) and I did this by myself, and it wasn’t all that difficult.
Phase 1 is complete: body armor, protection. Phase 2 involves a Gobi roof rack, also from Colorado. I should be receiving that within a few weeks. That install scares the shit out of me — I think I can do it, it’s just intimidating. And I’m worried that the 4Runner — Shi (Japanese for “four”) — won’t fit in the garage, it’s gonna be a tight squeeze!
After the Gobi, Phase 3 will be new black wheels and all terrain tires, Phase 4 will be a front end leveling kit, and then my new religion will be complete. I want to get it done so I can just enjoy the shit out of it and stop thinking or paying (LOL) for the next mod. There’s of course a few more things I’ll add, but mostly I will be satisfied with everything.
My mom joked that by the time I’m done with it, this girl will have $80,000 in it. It’s a funny half-truth. The addiction is strong, the sub-culture is alluring, and I’m the kind of person that has devoured it — at the expense of being a better father and husband, I’m sure. Oh well. They will appreciate it once we get it out on the trails.
The Lantern of Oz 