Pakkuraba’s 10th Badge: Blood, Mud, And Beers

Last September, when I purchased my Toyota 4Runner (TEQ), I think I sold my soul. I signed the paperwork in my own blood, and made a promise to myself that I would do anything, at all costs, to pay for this thing. I am currently working 60 hours a week, and I don’t even mind, it’s all for the cause. And so on the first of each month, I celebrate making my TEQ Pakkuraba payment by drinking Kirin Ichiban — a lovely Japanese rice lager.

When I get to do this at the sacred lake, it’s even more special. Anyway, this weekend was a rare two-nighter. The weird thing is I did a two-nighter on this weekend last year as well. I remember because the Friday I arrived was on Cinco de Mayo. This year Cinco de Mayo was/is on Sunday, and I left in the pouring rain:

I can tell you this is every camping nightmare imagined. My idea of fun doesn’t involve putting away a tent in the rain, but I managed: I left the rainfly on it as I took the poles down from the inside, then I simply folded it up and put it in a trash bag:

I have to admit it worked well, but now I have to figure out how to dry a 4-person tent at home with no sun expected until Tuesday. That was the worst of it, the rest of the weekend was, despite the overcast skies, quite lovely.

Friday evening got a little dicey, as I stabbed my left big toe with a stick and almost bled out. When I eventually do die, I’d like to die doing what I love, which is camping, so I almost did that. Just another war story … I patched my toe up, which is not the first toe injury I’ve had at the campsite. I’m becoming good at fixing bloody toes. I digress.

Saturday morning, the flood gates opened — literally. The spillway at the sacred lake was gushing because of recent flooding. I have been waiting to fish the spillway for two years, and I finally got my chance, only to catch zero fish.

The garfish were everywhere. They did not want my homemade rope lure. They surfaced like submarines constantly. Maybe next time … I miss catching Teri Garfish.

I made my way back to camp and tried a new camp meal idea: Johnsonville pre-cooked smoked brats with diced potatoes. I had to pair it with the official camping brew of Charles Latrans: Coors Banquet. Honestly, I liked this meal. Extremely cheap, extremely easy. That’s what camping meals should be. Latrans is a meat-and-potatoes kinda guy. Always.

The Pakkuraba got some jewelry — the Trasharoo from 4Runner Lifestyle. It’s brilliant. It’s made to fit over the spare tire, but pakku’s spare is underneath, but it still works great on the Gobi ladder. In fact I left it on and drove 20 miles down dirt roads and it didn’t flap or rattle or move at all. What it does is offer a place to haul your trash when you leave the campsite. So your spouse won’t have to hold the trash bag on the way to the nearest dumpster (lol).

The Kelty Waypoint tarp is reborn! I used to love this thing on my previous Jeep Patriot. I was only able to use it on Shi after installing the Gobi roof rack, but it works. The only down side, if there is one, is that the back hatch of the 4R doesn’t stay up very well when opening it, because of the weight of the ladder and the tightness of the tarp. But, the hatch can be opened for access to the back of the Japanese pack mule if needed. I might need to find some kind of retractable pole to use to prop the hatch with.

Lastly, I leave you with this image. I noticed something disturbing when I looked at it this morning, do you see it? Look at the sky …

Apparently, during last night’s campfire, the ghost of my cat Louis was staring down at me from Heaven. I see a cat, his eye, the bridge of his nose … I literally don’t know what this is, but it’s probably why people believe in UFO’s. Weird glitches, reflections, shit in the air. Or, my cat’s ghost face staring straight into my soul ….

Pakkuraba’s 9th Camping Badge: An Ode To Kansas

Kansas, My Kansas. I love you so. Prevailing southerly winds. Blue skies. Rolling hills. Post oak savanna. Prairie grass. Coyotes. Gravel roads. Black cattle. Sandstone. Limestone. Olive-colored lakes. I fucking love you. Pakku got a good taste of Kansas yesterday. I almost — almost took her on an actual trail, but I chickened out. I have a very low amount of trail confidence, in fact I have none. She will teach me slowly, we’ll get there one day.

My Detroit Tigers lid came with me, as well as the current book I’m reading about Ty Cobb — the fucking best baseball player in the history of the game and I’ll argue that forever. What a man. I’m reading the book because apparently he is known worldwide as a fucking asshole racist, a real bad dude. Only 4 people from baseball went to his funeral, if that gives you an idea of how disliked he was. BUT — this book refutes these things … Ty Cobb was not all of those bad things. Anyway. Great reading so far. Back to camping …

Those prevailing southerlies did come, but overall it was a gorgeous weekend full of blue skies and sunny warmth. My arms were soaked in the holy Hawaiian Tropic SPF 30 sunscreen. The aroma of coconut, frozen shrimp (bait), and Deep Woods Off mesmerized me. Lunch time came and I decided to eat cheap — bean quesadillas and cilantro-lime rice from the package.

Refried beans and cheddar-jack cheese. I brought diced jalapeños but did not add those, sadly. The meal was okay but very uninspiring. I’ll try better next time. After I cleaned up camp, I took Pakku to a special place …

It’s a river crossing with a history I have not researched yet, but it is a good 20 mile trek down gravel roads out in the proverbial Middle Of Nowhere. The river is clean and beautiful, with its limestone bed.

I tried to get as dirty as possible. Baptized by Kansas. Later in the afternoon I took a shower at the bathhouse, still one of the best things ever.

I had to camp at my old campsite where I’d camped 32 times before. I didn’t really plan on it, but I pulled in Saturday morning and found my first two choices occupied. It always freaks me out when that happens but Plan C worked fine, it was nice to be back at the ol’ home.

I have 3 more trips planned before we go to Colorado for my 100th trip. I could probably sneak in an extra trip before then but I want Colorado to be 100.

The only down side to the weekend is Pakkuraba’s gas mileage. She barely got 17 mpg on the way to the lake, and only 15.7 mpg on the way home. Yikes! I’m guessing with three kids, a 70-pound dog, and my beautiful wife and even more camping gear, our Colorado trip will be insanely horrible — 12.5, 13 mpg? I better start saving money now LOL.

Arlo still waiting for his first Campout this year …. Maybe next time, buddy.

Pakkuraba’s New Easter Shoes And Bucket List Items

My new religion, my new sin, is nearing its completion. And let me re-iterate this first — I feel disgusting posting things like this. I am not a materialistic guy, I hate showing things off. I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy who keeps the same t-shirts for decades. I do, however, love camping gear, I’ll show that stuff off because it’s generally affordable. Posting things about vehicles feels different. But I’m only doing this in the name of Camping.

My wife told me once that I need to stop compromising, if you want something then go for it and get what you really want. A few months ago on a camping trip I read this billboard at a small town community center that read: “I’m stuck between save for the future and you only live once.” And that, that sums up a lot of my thinking. However, I’ve decided to throw all of my cards on the table. I might die tomorrow. My plan for my Nihon no Pakkuraba (Japanese pack mule) was to slowly add mods over a 3-4 year period. Responsibly pay off each addition before adding the next. Nope. Fuck it, scorched earth policy is in effect.

Anyway, her new Easter shoes are BF Goodrich KO2. The important thing was the TRD black wheels. These should be mandatory stock, but Toyota wouldn’t make money on that. It sucks to replace brand new tires and wheels after only 6K miles, but by God the difference is profound. But now, finally, I can go to the real backwoods, I can finally drive up to Mirror Lake without worrying about ripping off a gas tank or getting a tire puncture. And now I can explore, and go “overlanding” in earnest. And for this, I must ask my God to forgive me for my sins of my Japanese pack mule worship.

The Gobi roof rack is in the garage awaiting install, which I will have to do myself in a few weeks. I would like to add a few more things, but am in no hurry — an awning, some outside Molle panels with gas/water carriers, and maybe some smoked out tail lights. Maybe, just maybe a leveling kit — but for now she is done.

I’ve never had a bucket list, because in a sad, weird way, I think bucket lists are depressing. I love the idea, but it seems like most bucket lists are things people will never achieve but dream of, of course. Hey, dreaming is free, after all. But I’m more of a literal guy, I need attainable goals. Over the last 3 years, a bucket list has been created in my life, and it has one item on it, and only one. Well, maybe two. But target #1 is visiting the Battle of the Little Bighorn National Monument in Montana. I have been meticulously reading about this subject for 2-3 years now, and I’ve reached the too-late-to-turn-back moment now. I need to see where Custer breathed his last breath, where the Sioux wiped out the 7th Cavalry. Where, where … once upon a time, life was untamed and natural. Cowboys and Indians and cavalry. This is the culture I am in love with. The 19th Century. Fuck technology.

So this summer, God willing, I’m planning on taking my wife and dog on the 15-hour roadie to the Crow Reservation in southwestern Montana to visit the sacred battlefield. We will camp along the way at a white sand beach lake in Nebraska — surreal. We might camp in the Big Horn mountains in Wyoming. I still need to do logistics. It’ll be a “quick” 4-day trip, the only cost will be fuel and food, so this won’t be too costly ($3.19 per gallon for 1,000 miles, fuck my life). LOL

Life is moving too fast. 60-hour workweeks are normal now. The camping rabbit hole goes deeper and deeper through my soul. The bucket list might grow. My wife and I want to move to Texas. But like I said, these bucket list items seem too hard to reach sometimes. One day at a time.

Sleeping Pad Experiment, Entry #3

The Cheap Sleeping Pad Experiment continues. The rule is: try a new sleeping pad each camping trip, the pad needs to cost under $50 to qualify as “cheap.” This is my third one, and it’s the ZOOOBELIVES brand, purchased on Amazon. I believe it cost close to $40 but right now it’s even cheaper — $29.

Let me be very clear here — this thing is huge. It packs up the same size as a lot of tents do. I mean, Jesus. But I don’t care, when I go solo camping I’m not looking to save space. I bought this because it claims to be super thick — 4 inches. That’s enormous, most pads are half of that thickness at best.

There are two valves. The main one shown in the second photo, and then this valve for the built-in foot pump. Let me give you some expert advice: the foot pump is a joke. It does work, I think, but it takes an extremely long time. In fact I gave up after a few minutes because I felt like it was it really getting there. So I used the main nozzle and aired it up in 30 seconds with my GIGA Pump.

Final opinion? This thing is fucking awesome. It’s as thick as advertised, it kept air all night long, and I damn near thought I was sleeping on a bed. I can’t testify to the warmth, it got down to 50 degrees at night but I was snug as a bug with my usual assortment of blankets. I always put a blanket under my air pads and one on top so I’m not sleeping directly on the cold synthetic material. I honestly don’t want to try another pad after this one, I love it, but I also can’t wait to keep trying more. Again — do not buy this if you are a hiker, it’s simply enormous and heavy. Car camping, absolutely.

Notes From Her 7th Voyage: Spirit Animal, God Of Wind

I’m still experimenting with post format, ideas, etc. I thought about giving up my camping recaps but I just can’t. But what I will do here is slim it down, post only the main moments. One such moment is that of the Ran’na earning her seventh camping merit badge: Wile E. Coyote’s business card. I love that dude.

The weather finally brought prevailing southerly winds upwards of 20 mph. Cloudless, gorgeous blue skies. Warm temps reaching the mid-70’s but never warm enough to strip down to short sleeves. I love Kansas.

New camp meal: homemade chili mac! There is a hint of redneck white trash flair about this that I love, but it was pretty easy to make so I thought I’d try. The end result was slightly disappointing. It filled me up but it wasn’t exactly “delicious” — and that’s probably to be expected. I was going to go with steak and rice, but I needed to try this new meal idea. I think I’ve earned a steak for my next trip, but all being said, I loved the experimenting.

I took the Nature Hike Opalus 3 again, against my better judgment. It took me 17 minutes to pitch it, and 3 minutes to take it down because I rolled it up and threw it in the back seat — that tent is impossible to put away in wind. I’d have more fun trying to put toothpaste back in a tube. Also, the tent stakes are cheap garbage. I broke two of them, which is ironic since the ground was slightly moist and the last time it was cold and frozen where I had no problems. Oh well, I’ll get some non-OEM stakes for this tent.

Lastly, I found a great blanket at Sierra Trading Post (I fucking love that store). It was only $20 and it’s gorgeous. Sierra Trading is a great store to find cheap camping items. The place is bad for people like me because they have a lot of impulse items. Tons of dog toys and such. Clothing. Drinking things. Anyway. It was a good camping trip. I’ll be home the next two weekends at least doing mods and maintenance to the pakkuraba.

Sleeping Pad Experiment, Entry #2: PowerLix

$40 on Amazon. It comes in a stuff sack that doubles as an air pump, like a lot of the “good” air pads do.

The stuff sack plugs into the sleep pad, and you open it, close it, and roll it up to force the air into the pad. Pretty awesome. I know this is a common thing amongst backpackers who know their sleeping pads, but it was my first go round, and I enjoyed the experience.

Bottom line — The sleeping pad was awesome. Stayed aired up all night, the material feels pretty solid, and the pad was as thick as any pad I’ve ever used. Love the camo color — badass. Down side? It’s not as small as other pads stowed away (Ascend) but it’s still worth it. I like this pad a lot, the Sleepingo felt a bit better, but cheaper. I’ll construct a top 10 list by the time I’m done with this experiment.

Don’t Give Up The Ship: Her 6th Voyage

My posts are no longer going to be what they were — camping trips with the same formula of fishing photos, camp meal photos, and whatever. It all became quite predictable from a posting perspective.

This year, and forevermore, I am going to add my new family member to my camping posts — my Toyota 4Runner. If writing about a vehicle feels too materialistic to you, then I get it, it does to me too. But when you buy a 4Runner you buy a culture and an addiction.

Trip #6 was Don’t Give Up The Ship. This is the Pirate battle line I have drawn in the sand with this Nihon no pakkuraba.

Buying this 4Runner has changed my life. Why — it’s literally like a second mortgage, but it has inspired me to dig deep and go for it. I used to bitch about how much I worked and was at times faux-suicidal about my work life, but now I bitch about how little I work. I put in 63 hours last week — my all-time record, with joy … for my Japanese pack mule. I will do anything for this thing. I’ll also burn in hell for worshipping my false idol but oh well, I do not give a fuck. I will not give up my ship.

Jeep owners have their little rubber ducks — you’ve seen them on their dashes. There is a reason for that and just google search it. Kinda cool back story, but whatever. Yota owners have morale or tactical patches — we put them on our headboard. Because I am anal-retentive and OCD positive, I’ve decided to put a patch on my girl for every camping trip we go on. Our #6 was this weekend. The previous 5 are:

There. My favorite is the heavy drinker. Because truth and wit.

In the future, I’ll be posting my 4Runner mods. And lots of new camping gear reviews. And if I can, camping reviews, just not the way I have before — less photos, more to the point. Get ready to get weird.

Reflecting On Camping 2023: A Year Of Change

I suppose this will be my year-end post of reverie. I always like to look back after the proverbial woodsmoke has drifted away. 2023 was probably my favorite camping year so far that featured: a new dog, camping in the Ozarks, solo camping trip in Colorado, new camping vehicle, and an even deeper, profound appreciation for my special local campground that I frequent. Here is a general breakdown of 2023:

New Dog:

Last February, on the very weekend that I usually start my camping campaign, I drove my family to Fayetteville, Arkansas to pick up our new Weimaraner from Arkansas Weim Rescue. We named him Arlo, and he was only 9 months old when we got him. He loves car rides, camping, and chewing on things. We’re still working on that chewing issue, but otherwise we love him to death and we feel like he loves us. He was born in Missouri but transported to Arkansas, which is interesting because we had our eye on Arkansas camping … things always seem to connect in my life.

Camping In The Ozarks:

June: Camping along the Buffalo National River was interesting. It wasn’t absolutely perfect, but it was good enough. We had to hike through what I’d describe as “jungle” to get to the river — wish the river bank was closer, but we had access to one of the most beautiful rivers I’ve seen. Crystal-clear water, beautiful cliffs and oak forest, and a generally clean river bank. The fishing was awful, but If I’d caught anything that would’ve only been a bonus. Floating the river was fun, the weather was hot but not uncomfortable. This is a place I would like to explore more of, but maybe a different part, and not in June. I have a decent respect for Arkansas though, my first experience with any part of the Southeast U.S. And I love Fayetteville, I want to go back.

Solo Camping In Colorado:

July: Arlo and I had a rare opportunity in 2023. With my wife and three kids spending 6 weeks in Mexico visiting my wife’s family, the dog and I decided to go for it and head to the mountains, just man and his best friend. We left on a Thursday afternoon and returned the following Thursday afternoon. To sum it up, it was relaxing and glorious. We settled into a routine of breakfast, fishing the river in the morning, lazing around camp the rest of the day with cold brews and food, and absolutely great campfires at night. It was calm, peaceful, and wonderful. I didn’t know it at the time, who would, but it was the last voyage that my 2016 Jeep Patriot would go on. She would soon head to the happy hunting grounds …

New Camping Vehicle/Machine:

September: I haven’t felt comfortable talking about my new rig on this blog — maybe I’ll ease into it but it feels so materialistic, even though most of what I deal with is material … camping gear, just not as pricey as this. Anyway, our Jeep Patriot got totaled on August 1. This was our second Patriot to get totaled. I guess the Universe was telling us to not get another. I kept seeing Toyota 4Runners on the road, and became seriously seduced. I’d always been a Jeep guy, but there was something about that 4Runner that I couldn’t stop ignoring. Because God works in mysterious ways, our insurance company paid as for our totaled Jeep Patriot almost as much as we paid for it when we bought it in 2018! What the fuck? With that money I paid off a credit card which freed up space for a new car payment. The Toyota dealership was our first stop, then Jeep. We ended up test-driving a 2023 magnesium grey magnetic 4Runner that one Saturday morning. Uh, only way to describe it was Love At First Sight, and sadly for Jeep. But to give Jeep a fair trial, we did look at the Gladiator and Wrangler, and the price was the same with the 4Runner offering, honestly, a ton more space. By Wednesday of the next week we were driving to the Toyota ‘ship to sign the papers on the exact 4Runner we test-drove.

In retrospect, I don’t know how this all happened. We had a paid-off vehicle we loved, but had a lot of credit card debt, and in a month had lost a vehicle, and debt, but gained our dream machine, but a decent amount of stress on the payment. I’d rather have it this way. At least my money is going into an investment now, and the 4Runner will last for 300,000 miles. It has become my new religion, God forgive me.

Favorite Camping Cemented:

In 2023, I basically only went to one state park in Kansas, and it’s because I don’t need to go to any other. But I also found a strange, new campsite at that place this year. It’s an isolated spot out on a point, and it’s rarely used. So I tried it, and fell in love. There are a few trees but it’s not like my other favorites in copses of post oak. It also offers great sunset views. It’s a great option. And there are some other new sites I plan on trying next year. This place never stops giving to me.

Overall Success:

My God, I wrote this whole post and didn’t even mention the fish! I caught nothing but lunkers all year long. Almost every single trip. Shrimp for bait and a couple of grande ol cats. Every single time.

Could not get a better camping year. Next year will offer more possibilities, I’m trying to build up the 4Runner to become an overlanding rig. With time. We target Colorado next summer. I don’t know about Arkansas. And I will try to get outside of the normal favorite campsite. Maybe I do need to change up my posting style, maybe.

So closes 2023 in camping. It was glorious. Let me hone the things I’ve been given and make better posts in the future.

The Festive, Celebratory Last Campout Of The Year

Normally I wouldn’t make much of a deal about camping in mid-to-late December, it’s just the last camping trip of the year, nothing special. But over the last few years, I’ve put more of my own touches on it, and it’s turned into my own ridiculous pseudo-pagan-festive-camping blowout. Since I’m on vacation this week, I was able to do a few cool things: One, arrive at the campsite on a Sunday afternoon. This was awesome as it gave me all of Saturday to slowly prepare and pack. Two, I was able to pull a two-nighter. With two days of abundant, sacred sunshine and crystal blue skies, here’s how it played out:

A few weeks ago, I dug up an oddly likable rap album by Nas that I listened to when I was young, confused. It’s still a guilty pleasure but this trip found me back into my current frame of mind, thank God. Merle and Waylon. I also listened to Gordon Lightfoot, so my musical tastes were firing on all cylinders.

I arrived around 2:30 p.m. to a desolate, empty campground as expected. I only had a few hours to get camp set before sunset, so I got straight to work pitching my Kelty Rumpus 4 — the same tent I took to Colorado in July. It’s basically just like my Coleman Skydome, only bigger and better quality. The vestibule is massive and kept me out of the wind. After camp was set, I threw out a couple of cat lines, and waited for them to bite. It was the perfect time to start the December camping celebration, so I tapped the mini-keg of Shiner Cheer:

There aren’t many weirdos that will bring a 5-Liter keg with matching glassware on a camping trip, but this trip was, as I’ll keep saying, a celebration. And for the record, the Shiner Cheer was delightful. Ale brewed with peaches and pecans, I will have to get more for Christmas Eve in a few days. I used small limestone rocks as my runes to keep track of the number of beers poured forth from the Cheer. I collected a lot of wood, and then went down to check on my fishing work:

I never thought in a million years I’d be catching fish from the shore in December, but that’s how the year started on March 4, and that’s how it will end.

With The Ghost Of Old Turtle watching over me, I got a good campfire going and got cozy. I eventually headed down to shore to pull in the lines.

One more, and almost — almost — the mark of the beast. I already caught a 6.66 pound earlier this year, I don’t know how I’d feel if I caught another one. That’s all the fish I’d catch this trip — Monday was cold AF with a northerly wind sweeping over the lake. It was yet another two-cat trip, the seventh time it’s happened this year.

Monday morning … I slept in until 7:20 a.m. which is LATE for me. I made coffee inside the vestibule with plenty of room, and thank God. The north wind was blowing straight at my tent. I purposely faced the tent to the north because the wind was gonna be from the south on Tuesday morning, and I’d rather be more comfortable then.

I donned the Arizona hat and drove to a local gas station to buy gloves — I forgot my Gortex-insulated leather gloves and my hands were frozen. I drove to a once-favored fishing spot on the river, but it was bitterly cold. I didn’t stay long. I drove back to camp but during my journey exercised the 4WD like you’re supposed to do 10 miles a month. Also on my way back, one of the biggest coyotes I’ve ever seen ran across the road. A beautiful beast. A good omen, I always think. I got back to camp and really had time to kill, so I collected a shit-ton of firewood, and also found my yearly Yule Log to burn in the sacred Last Campfire Of The Year.

It was cute — it had a hole in it from a woodpecker I’d imagine. It wasn’t the best Yule Log ever, but it burned completely, it didn’t even take that long.

I’m skipping over lunchtime, because that will be a separate post — I made something completely audacious— chicken fried steak! It turned out good, but I’ll write about that experiment later.
The jingle bell bottle opener actually jingles. I figure it’s good to have on me if I ever go camping in bear country, the authorities will be able to hear where my corpse is being dragged into the bush if a bear or cougar get to me.

Tuesday morning was 28 degrees Fahrenheit. My leftover water in my kettle was iced. The wind was calm, from the south but it was not cozy outside at all, but in my tent, yes it was good. My Kelty 20 degree down bag kept me snug.

I slowly made coffee, read some, and gradually packed up. I used to hate packing up but it’s become sort of calming and enjoyable to me. I drink lots of good coffee and just take my time, and there’s the joy of getting to the comforts of home all the while reliving the moments of the trip while I’m packing up. I don’t know, it’s a good feeling. Not quite as good as just arriving at the campsite, however. Just different. Last but not least, I could not pack up my tent at the campsite. It was too windy:

The vestibule/rain fly was enormous! I simply folded it up, the tent as well, and did the Lazy Packup:

I got home and packed it up properly. Sometimes you just gotta do whatever works best. The throw-it-in-and-go only works on solo trips, obviously.

Overall, a good trip. I have a few new gear reviews to do, because that’s also one of my traditions on my last campout, try out new gear. I’ll be posting more this week for sure, whether that’s good or bad, I don’t know. The last campfire has burnt out in 2023. Next camping trip is scheduled for Late February 2024, Lord willing.