And then it happened: I found the tent that will prevent me from buying any other tent forevermore. Introducing the Kelty Caboose 4 — a 4-Person tent that connects to your vehicle, providing shelter, shade, and comfort. I absolutely love this idea because if it ever rains, I would be able to literally pack up all of my camping gear without getting wet! The only thing that would be wet would be the tent itself, which is no big deal. If I had this tent on my last camping trip, when it was crushing rain when I was packing up — I’d simply have opened the hatch of my 4Runner, and under the protection of the tent, easily packed up all of my blankets, pillows, and other gear in the tent and packed it into the vehicle. Staying dry the entire time! Here’s another great thing:
It’s a stand-alone tent in and of itself. It doesn’t have to attach to your vehicle. And look at that vestibule! If it rains, again, you are safe and sound. I can make coffee in the vestibule area with a full-size camp chair, and my Coleman table.
I am basically frothing at the mouth to own this tent. I’m quite amazed that I didn’t drunk-purchase it last night. I’m pretty sure that’s the next step, I know it will happen, sadly. This tent is perfect for how I camp, and I cannot wait to own it.
Last September, when I purchased my Toyota 4Runner (TEQ), I think I sold my soul. I signed the paperwork in my own blood, and made a promise to myself that I would do anything, at all costs, to pay for this thing. I am currently working 60 hours a week, and I don’t even mind, it’s all for the cause. And so on the first of each month, I celebrate making my TEQ Pakkuraba payment by drinking Kirin Ichiban — a lovely Japanese rice lager.
When I get to do this at the sacred lake, it’s even more special. Anyway, this weekend was a rare two-nighter. The weird thing is I did a two-nighter on this weekend last year as well. I remember because the Friday I arrived was on Cinco de Mayo. This year Cinco de Mayo was/is on Sunday, and I left in the pouring rain:
I can tell you this is every camping nightmare imagined. My idea of fun doesn’t involve putting away a tent in the rain, but I managed: I left the rainfly on it as I took the poles down from the inside, then I simply folded it up and put it in a trash bag:
I have to admit it worked well, but now I have to figure out how to dry a 4-person tent at home with no sun expected until Tuesday. That was the worst of it, the rest of the weekend was, despite the overcast skies, quite lovely.
Friday evening got a little dicey, as I stabbed my left big toe with a stick and almost bled out. When I eventually do die, I’d like to die doing what I love, which is camping, so I almost did that. Just another war story … I patched my toe up, which is not the first toe injury I’ve had at the campsite. I’m becoming good at fixing bloody toes. I digress.
Saturday morning, the flood gates opened — literally. The spillway at the sacred lake was gushing because of recent flooding. I have been waiting to fish the spillway for two years, and I finally got my chance, only to catch zero fish.
The garfish were everywhere. They did not want my homemade rope lure. They surfaced like submarines constantly. Maybe next time … I miss catching Teri Garfish.
I made my way back to camp and tried a new camp meal idea: Johnsonville pre-cooked smoked brats with diced potatoes. I had to pair it with the official camping brew of Charles Latrans: Coors Banquet. Honestly, I liked this meal. Extremely cheap, extremely easy. That’s what camping meals should be. Latrans is a meat-and-potatoes kinda guy. Always.
The Pakkuraba got some jewelry — the Trasharoo from 4Runner Lifestyle. It’s brilliant. It’s made to fit over the spare tire, but pakku’s spare is underneath, but it still works great on the Gobi ladder. In fact I left it on and drove 20 miles down dirt roads and it didn’t flap or rattle or move at all. What it does is offer a place to haul your trash when you leave the campsite. So your spouse won’t have to hold the trash bag on the way to the nearest dumpster (lol).
The Kelty Waypoint tarp is reborn! I used to love this thing on my previous Jeep Patriot. I was only able to use it on Shi after installing the Gobi roof rack, but it works. The only down side, if there is one, is that the back hatch of the 4R doesn’t stay up very well when opening it, because of the weight of the ladder and the tightness of the tarp. But, the hatch can be opened for access to the back of the Japanese pack mule if needed. I might need to find some kind of retractable pole to use to prop the hatch with.
Lastly, I leave you with this image. I noticed something disturbing when I looked at it this morning, do you see it? Look at the sky …
Apparently, during last night’s campfire, the ghost of my cat Louis was staring down at me from Heaven. I see a cat, his eye, the bridge of his nose … I literally don’t know what this is, but it’s probably why people believe in UFO’s. Weird glitches, reflections, shit in the air. Or, my cat’s ghost face staring straight into my soul ….
Kansas, My Kansas. I love you so. Prevailing southerly winds. Blue skies. Rolling hills. Post oak savanna. Prairie grass. Coyotes. Gravel roads. Black cattle. Sandstone. Limestone. Olive-colored lakes. I fucking love you. Pakku got a good taste of Kansas yesterday. I almost — almost took her on an actual trail, but I chickened out. I have a very low amount of trail confidence, in fact I have none. She will teach me slowly, we’ll get there one day.
My Detroit Tigers lid came with me, as well as the current book I’m reading about Ty Cobb — the fucking best baseball player in the history of the game and I’ll argue that forever. What a man. I’m reading the book because apparently he is known worldwide as a fucking asshole racist, a real bad dude. Only 4 people from baseball went to his funeral, if that gives you an idea of how disliked he was. BUT — this book refutes these things … Ty Cobb was not all of those bad things. Anyway. Great reading so far. Back to camping …
Those prevailing southerlies did come, but overall it was a gorgeous weekend full of blue skies and sunny warmth. My arms were soaked in the holy Hawaiian Tropic SPF 30 sunscreen. The aroma of coconut, frozen shrimp (bait), and Deep Woods Off mesmerized me. Lunch time came and I decided to eat cheap — bean quesadillas and cilantro-lime rice from the package.
Refried beans and cheddar-jack cheese. I brought diced jalapeños but did not add those, sadly. The meal was okay but very uninspiring. I’ll try better next time. After I cleaned up camp, I took Pakku to a special place …
It’s a river crossing with a history I have not researched yet, but it is a good 20 mile trek down gravel roads out in the proverbial Middle Of Nowhere. The river is clean and beautiful, with its limestone bed.
I tried to get as dirty as possible. Baptized by Kansas. Later in the afternoon I took a shower at the bathhouse, still one of the best things ever.
I had to camp at my old campsite where I’d camped 32 times before. I didn’t really plan on it, but I pulled in Saturday morning and found my first two choices occupied. It always freaks me out when that happens but Plan C worked fine, it was nice to be back at the ol’ home.
I have 3 more trips planned before we go to Colorado for my 100th trip. I could probably sneak in an extra trip before then but I want Colorado to be 100.
The only down side to the weekend is Pakkuraba’s gas mileage. She barely got 17 mpg on the way to the lake, and only 15.7 mpg on the way home. Yikes! I’m guessing with three kids, a 70-pound dog, and my beautiful wife and even more camping gear, our Colorado trip will be insanely horrible — 12.5, 13 mpg? I better start saving money now LOL.
Arlo still waiting for his first Campout this year …. Maybe next time, buddy.
Any time I cancel a camping trip the last minute, it always feels weird. But as it is, the forecast called for 30 mph winds, gusts up to 50 mph, then possible severe weather in late evening. There’s just no point. I finally called it.
The Pakkuraba, however, licked up the scraps and got dressed with a proper saddle. The Gobi roof rack from Denver, Colorado has been sitting in the garage for a few weeks awaiting appointment. I started at 8 a.m. with good coffee and finished at 7:00 p.m. with beer. Not bad for a 2-hour task.
The big concern was the garage. Would it fit? Because that’s why I sold my old Thule rack, it was too tall. Thank Christ it fit, by 4-5 inches. Because when you order a 70-pound rack that’s delivered on a pallet from a freight company, you can’t just send it back.
The instructions by Gobi were nothing less than amazing, except for the ladder install, but no worries. We figured it. The icing on the cake is the Gobi backpack. It’s an option on the order, so for $50 I was like yeah. Turns out it’s probably a $100 backpack, high quality —
I’ve seen shitty backpacks at Target that cost more — this thing is fucking awesome. I’ll use it on camping trips, another pakkuraba pocket.
Maybe next weekend I’ll get away from my slime city. Jerk city. People city.
My new religion, my new sin, is nearing its completion. And let me re-iterate this first — I feel disgusting posting things like this. I am not a materialistic guy, I hate showing things off. I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy who keeps the same t-shirts for decades. I do, however, love camping gear, I’ll show that stuff off because it’s generally affordable. Posting things about vehicles feels different. But I’m only doing this in the name of Camping.
My wife told me once that I need to stop compromising, if you want something then go for it and get what you really want. A few months ago on a camping trip I read this billboard at a small town community center that read: “I’m stuck between save for the future and you only live once.” And that, that sums up a lot of my thinking. However, I’ve decided to throw all of my cards on the table. I might die tomorrow. My plan for my Nihon no Pakkuraba (Japanese pack mule) was to slowly add mods over a 3-4 year period. Responsibly pay off each addition before adding the next. Nope. Fuck it, scorched earth policy is in effect.
Anyway, her new Easter shoes are BF Goodrich KO2. The important thing was the TRD black wheels. These should be mandatory stock, but Toyota wouldn’t make money on that. It sucks to replace brand new tires and wheels after only 6K miles, but by God the difference is profound. But now, finally, I can go to the real backwoods, I can finally drive up to Mirror Lake without worrying about ripping off a gas tank or getting a tire puncture. And now I can explore, and go “overlanding” in earnest. And for this, I must ask my God to forgive me for my sins of my Japanese pack mule worship.
The Gobi roof rack is in the garage awaiting install, which I will have to do myself in a few weeks. I would like to add a few more things, but am in no hurry — an awning, some outside Molle panels with gas/water carriers, and maybe some smoked out tail lights. Maybe, just maybe a leveling kit — but for now she is done.
I’ve never had a bucket list, because in a sad, weird way, I think bucket lists are depressing. I love the idea, but it seems like most bucket lists are things people will never achieve but dream of, of course. Hey, dreaming is free, after all. But I’m more of a literal guy, I need attainable goals. Over the last 3 years, a bucket list has been created in my life, and it has one item on it, and only one. Well, maybe two. But target #1 is visiting the Battle of the Little Bighorn National Monument in Montana. I have been meticulously reading about this subject for 2-3 years now, and I’ve reached the too-late-to-turn-back moment now. I need to see where Custer breathed his last breath, where the Sioux wiped out the 7th Cavalry. Where, where … once upon a time, life was untamed and natural. Cowboys and Indians and cavalry. This is the culture I am in love with. The 19th Century. Fuck technology.
So this summer, God willing, I’m planning on taking my wife and dog on the 15-hour roadie to the Crow Reservation in southwestern Montana to visit the sacred battlefield. We will camp along the way at a white sand beach lake in Nebraska — surreal. We might camp in the Big Horn mountains in Wyoming. I still need to do logistics. It’ll be a “quick” 4-day trip, the only cost will be fuel and food, so this won’t be too costly ($3.19 per gallon for 1,000 miles, fuck my life). LOL
Life is moving too fast. 60-hour workweeks are normal now. The camping rabbit hole goes deeper and deeper through my soul. The bucket list might grow. My wife and I want to move to Texas. But like I said, these bucket list items seem too hard to reach sometimes. One day at a time.
The 8th Camping Merit Badge has been earned, and the badge beautifully illustrates the sad inner-most workings of my brain. As a general rule, I am a nice person and I don’t believe in “burning bridges” because you know, that shit will come back to haunt you. You never know. Having said that, I LOVE burning bridges when people do me wrong. I have had a couple of friends in my lifetime who I’ve burned the proverbial bridge with, and my way of lighting those bridges on fire was by disappearing from their lives by changing addresses, phone numbers, etc. Lessons in How To Disappear Completely. Then last week I broke up with my local Mazda dealership where I’d been servicing my Mazda over the last 18 years. They kept taking advantage of me so finally I filled out their damn survey that that persisted I take, and well, I burned that motherfucker to the ground. Needless to say, I’ll never be returning there as long as God gives me breathes to breathe. Anyway — I love my new angry, bitter patch for the Japanese pakkuraba.
This camping trip has three talking points, two of which will be gear reviews in two other posts. So that leaves me with the main topic, and I’m going to get straight to the point: a fish — or lake monster? — dragged one of my rods and reels into the lake and disappeared into the murky depths. I’m not making this up.
Sometime around 2:00 p.m. I was cooking up a couple of big cheeseburgers on my camp stove. After I ate and cleaned up some dishes, I walked down to the shore to find this:
My second rod and reel was about 5 yards away, perfectly erect. Nobody could have stolen it, because I was the only one at the lake — and who in the hell is stealing a cheap rod and reel that’s got a line in the water. Here’s what scares me …. Earlier I caught a 7.47 pound catfish, and although it did knock the rod down from the holder (the shore is rocky and the holders are not firmly in the ground) the rod just sat there and didn’t budge. So if a 7 pound cat can’t move a rod, what in the fuck could drag a rod into the lake, over rocky ground, mind you ….? I don’t know, and it’s going to haunt me forever. It didn’t dawn on me to wade into the lake a few yards and at least see if the rod was hung up on the bottom. I brought extra shoes and I always have 2-3 days of extra clothing, so I could have done that. Honestly, next time I go there I’m going to do just that. Except now I don’t know exactly where I had the rod, maybe I can figure it out from the photo when I get there. The fishing gods must be angry with me, I don’t know. I once had a rod dragged into a pond by a large carp, but the rod was a lot lighter and it was sitting on a grassy bank. This is different. Anyway, here’s proof of said 7.47:
My wife says I look like I’m in Alaska. Nope, just some classic, blustery Kansas springtime weather. I love it.
Overall, a pretty interesting weekend, and the first trip using my molle panel system in the 4R. I don’t really have it figured out yet — it’s one of those things that have no right or wrong way, it’s totally up to the user.
I did add this amazing paper towel holder that I bought on Etsy. It’s pretty great, but I didn’t spend $$$ on these panels for a freaking paper towel system. The molle bags are useful for small things like sleep pad air pumps, Solar lights, chargers, etc.
My top shelf is still not figured. I mean half of the shelf is used for a pillow? That’s dumb. I put a pot set up there that I didn’t even end up using. This will take some time to figure out. I want a defined system and packing pattern — I’m OCD like crazy, and I need my packing system to be sharp and exact.
This concludes the broadcast. I guess next weekend I get the pleasure of buying a new fishing rod and reel. Thanks, fishing gods. That poor thing that dragged it into the lake is the one suffering now. I hope we meet someday soon.
Last Friday night, I spent 3 hours of mechanical seduction under the body of my mistress — my Toyota 4Runner. My wife knows about it, don’t worry. I installed Cali Raised catalytic converter covers. Now, I’m about as mechanically skilled as a sloth, but I got it done. Why did I install catalytic converter covers? Because of fear and paranoia — apparently thieves are stealing catalytic converters and selling them for money, and the Toyotas (and most other SUVs/trucks) are easy targets as they sit higher and give these assholes easier access under the vehicle. They can cut them off and steal them in minutes. Replacing them is a $2,000 repair. Of course this is fear-based, and I bought into it. The good news is the payoff is that I never have to worry about this happening now. First mod done. On Saturday morning, I woke up and installed these:
RSG rock sliders. It took exactly 4 weeks for these to arrive from RSG Metalworks in Golden, Colorado. They weigh about 50 pounds each, powder coated steel. Bolt on to the frame. Saturday morning, I did this in the beautiful Kansas sunshine, and it was so much easier than the cat shield install. It was actually enjoyable.
I won’t bore you with the install details. I will say that I prepped the frame with rust protection, and I used a couple of cheap car jack I bought at Wal Mart ($35) and I did this by myself, and it wasn’t all that difficult.
Phase 1 is complete: body armor, protection. Phase 2 involves a Gobi roof rack, also from Colorado. I should be receiving that within a few weeks. That install scares the shit out of me — I think I can do it, it’s just intimidating. And I’m worried that the 4Runner — Shi (Japanese for “four”) — won’t fit in the garage, it’s gonna be a tight squeeze!
After the Gobi, Phase 3 will be new black wheels and all terrain tires, Phase 4 will be a front end leveling kit, and then my new religion will be complete. I want to get it done so I can just enjoy the shit out of it and stop thinking or paying (LOL) for the next mod. There’s of course a few more things I’ll add, but mostly I will be satisfied with everything.
My mom joked that by the time I’m done with it, this girl will have $80,000 in it. It’s a funny half-truth. The addiction is strong, the sub-culture is alluring, and I’m the kind of person that has devoured it — at the expense of being a better father and husband, I’m sure. Oh well. They will appreciate it once we get it out on the trails.
I’m still experimenting with post format, ideas, etc. I thought about giving up my camping recaps but I just can’t. But what I will do here is slim it down, post only the main moments. One such moment is that of the Ran’na earning her seventh camping merit badge: Wile E. Coyote’s business card. I love that dude.
The weather finally brought prevailing southerly winds upwards of 20 mph. Cloudless, gorgeous blue skies. Warm temps reaching the mid-70’s but never warm enough to strip down to short sleeves. I love Kansas.
New camp meal: homemade chili mac! There is a hint of redneck white trash flair about this that I love, but it was pretty easy to make so I thought I’d try. The end result was slightly disappointing. It filled me up but it wasn’t exactly “delicious” — and that’s probably to be expected. I was going to go with steak and rice, but I needed to try this new meal idea. I think I’ve earned a steak for my next trip, but all being said, I loved the experimenting.
I took the Nature Hike Opalus 3 again, against my better judgment. It took me 17 minutes to pitch it, and 3 minutes to take it down because I rolled it up and threw it in the back seat — that tent is impossible to put away in wind. I’d have more fun trying to put toothpaste back in a tube. Also, the tent stakes are cheap garbage. I broke two of them, which is ironic since the ground was slightly moist and the last time it was cold and frozen where I had no problems. Oh well, I’ll get some non-OEM stakes for this tent.
Lastly, I found a great blanket at Sierra Trading Post (I fucking love that store). It was only $20 and it’s gorgeous. Sierra Trading is a great store to find cheap camping items. The place is bad for people like me because they have a lot of impulse items. Tons of dog toys and such. Clothing. Drinking things. Anyway. It was a good camping trip. I’ll be home the next two weekends at least doing mods and maintenance to the pakkuraba.
My posts are no longer going to be what they were — camping trips with the same formula of fishing photos, camp meal photos, and whatever. It all became quite predictable from a posting perspective.
This year, and forevermore, I am going to add my new family member to my camping posts — my Toyota 4Runner. If writing about a vehicle feels too materialistic to you, then I get it, it does to me too. But when you buy a 4Runner you buy a culture and an addiction.
Trip #6 was Don’t Give Up The Ship. This is the Pirate battle line I have drawn in the sand with this Nihon no pakkuraba.
Buying this 4Runner has changed my life. Why — it’s literally like a second mortgage, but it has inspired me to dig deep and go for it. I used to bitch about how much I worked and was at times faux-suicidal about my work life, but now I bitch about how little I work. I put in 63 hours last week — my all-time record, with joy … for my Japanese pack mule. I will do anything for this thing. I’ll also burn in hell for worshipping my false idol but oh well, I do not give a fuck. I will not give up my ship.
Jeep owners have their little rubber ducks — you’ve seen them on their dashes. There is a reason for that and just google search it. Kinda cool back story, but whatever. Yota owners have morale or tactical patches — we put them on our headboard. Because I am anal-retentive and OCD positive, I’ve decided to put a patch on my girl for every camping trip we go on. Our #6 was this weekend. The previous 5 are:
There. My favorite is the heavy drinker. Because truth and wit.
In the future, I’ll be posting my 4Runner mods. And lots of new camping gear reviews. And if I can, camping reviews, just not the way I have before — less photos, more to the point. Get ready to get weird.
I suppose this will be my year-end post of reverie. I always like to look back after the proverbial woodsmoke has drifted away. 2023 was probably my favorite camping year so far that featured: a new dog, camping in the Ozarks, solo camping trip in Colorado, new camping vehicle, and an even deeper, profound appreciation for my special local campground that I frequent. Here is a general breakdown of 2023:
New Dog:
Last February, on the very weekend that I usually start my camping campaign, I drove my family to Fayetteville, Arkansas to pick up our new Weimaraner from Arkansas Weim Rescue. We named him Arlo, and he was only 9 months old when we got him. He loves car rides, camping, and chewing on things. We’re still working on that chewing issue, but otherwise we love him to death and we feel like he loves us. He was born in Missouri but transported to Arkansas, which is interesting because we had our eye on Arkansas camping … things always seem to connect in my life.
Camping In The Ozarks:
June: Camping along the Buffalo National River was interesting. It wasn’t absolutely perfect, but it was good enough. We had to hike through what I’d describe as “jungle” to get to the river — wish the river bank was closer, but we had access to one of the most beautiful rivers I’ve seen. Crystal-clear water, beautiful cliffs and oak forest, and a generally clean river bank. The fishing was awful, but If I’d caught anything that would’ve only been a bonus. Floating the river was fun, the weather was hot but not uncomfortable. This is a place I would like to explore more of, but maybe a different part, and not in June. I have a decent respect for Arkansas though, my first experience with any part of the Southeast U.S. And I love Fayetteville, I want to go back.
Solo Camping In Colorado:
July: Arlo and I had a rare opportunity in 2023. With my wife and three kids spending 6 weeks in Mexico visiting my wife’s family, the dog and I decided to go for it and head to the mountains, just man and his best friend. We left on a Thursday afternoon and returned the following Thursday afternoon. To sum it up, it was relaxing and glorious. We settled into a routine of breakfast, fishing the river in the morning, lazing around camp the rest of the day with cold brews and food, and absolutely great campfires at night. It was calm, peaceful, and wonderful. I didn’t know it at the time, who would, but it was the last voyage that my 2016 Jeep Patriot would go on. She would soon head to the happy hunting grounds …
New Camping Vehicle/Machine:
September: I haven’t felt comfortable talking about my new rig on this blog — maybe I’ll ease into it but it feels so materialistic, even though most of what I deal with is material … camping gear, just not as pricey as this. Anyway, our Jeep Patriot got totaled on August 1. This was our second Patriot to get totaled. I guess the Universe was telling us to not get another. I kept seeing Toyota 4Runners on the road, and became seriously seduced. I’d always been a Jeep guy, but there was something about that 4Runner that I couldn’t stop ignoring. Because God works in mysterious ways, our insurance company paid as for our totaled Jeep Patriot almost as much as we paid for it when we bought it in 2018! What the fuck? With that money I paid off a credit card which freed up space for a new car payment. The Toyota dealership was our first stop, then Jeep. We ended up test-driving a 2023 magnesium grey magnetic 4Runner that one Saturday morning. Uh, only way to describe it was Love At First Sight, and sadly for Jeep. But to give Jeep a fair trial, we did look at the Gladiator and Wrangler, and the price was the same with the 4Runner offering, honestly, a ton more space. By Wednesday of the next week we were driving to the Toyota ‘ship to sign the papers on the exact 4Runner we test-drove.
In retrospect, I don’t know how this all happened. We had a paid-off vehicle we loved, but had a lot of credit card debt, and in a month had lost a vehicle, and debt, but gained our dream machine, but a decent amount of stress on the payment. I’d rather have it this way. At least my money is going into an investment now, and the 4Runner will last for 300,000 miles. It has become my new religion, God forgive me.
Favorite Camping Cemented:
In 2023, I basically only went to one state park in Kansas, and it’s because I don’t need to go to any other. But I also found a strange, new campsite at that place this year. It’s an isolated spot out on a point, and it’s rarely used. So I tried it, and fell in love. There are a few trees but it’s not like my other favorites in copses of post oak. It also offers great sunset views. It’s a great option. And there are some other new sites I plan on trying next year. This place never stops giving to me.
Overall Success:
My God, I wrote this whole post and didn’t even mention the fish! I caught nothing but lunkers all year long. Almost every single trip. Shrimp for bait and a couple of grande ol cats. Every single time.
Could not get a better camping year. Next year will offer more possibilities, I’m trying to build up the 4Runner to become an overlanding rig. With time. We target Colorado next summer. I don’t know about Arkansas. And I will try to get outside of the normal favorite campsite. Maybe I do need to change up my posting style, maybe.
So closes 2023 in camping. It was glorious. Let me hone the things I’ve been given and make better posts in the future.
The Lantern of Oz 